Love and sexual attraction can cause strong reactions, but it's difficult to tell which one it is.There are times when one person feels love and the other person is just lusting.It's possible to decide where your relationship with the other person is going.
Step 1: Do you and the other person feel sexual attraction?
There are signs of lust that include focusing on each other's appearance, having a relationships that revolves around sex, and little interest in having real conversations and getting to know the other person.If one partner only feels lust and the other feels love, things can get complicated, even if the relationship is based on sexual attraction.
Step 2: If the other person feels love for you, then ask.
Love goes deeper than sexual attraction.Do you value the other person's happiness or do you just want to get to know each other?If you want to be part of that person's life, you have to get to know their friends and family.Do you have the same values and interests?Do you feel a connection to that person?A commitment to personal growth and becoming a better person are some of the qualities you might find in a partner.An awareness of their weaknesses.Emotional openness.Responsible and respectful.They practice honesty with you and others.They don't feel good about themselves in order to love them.
Step 3: Understand that biology is involved.
Lust and romantic love are two of three brain systems that help explain human attitudes toward reproduction.Feelings of love in a relationship can be created by sexual attraction, romantic love, and long-term feelings of attachment.
Step 4: Do different activities with someone else.
You should try to find events that you both enjoy.You might be on the way to love if it is easy to find things you love to do together.It's a good guess that you're just experiencing sexual attraction if you have trouble finding anything to do together that doesn't involve sex or the promise of sex.
Step 5: Discuss what they are getting out of the relationship with the other person.
It's a case of sexual attraction if they only talk about your appearance or sex life.You have to think about the feelings of the other person when you share a connection.These discussions can be uncomfortable, but they can help clarify how you feel.I hope you like hanging out with me.What are your favorite things to do together?"I don't want a big serious conversation, but I wanted to know if you like keeping things the way they are between us or if ultimately you might be looking for more."We haven't defined things, but I wanted to know how you see our relationship.
Step 6: If you know you have different goals, ask yourself if you want to continue in the relationship.
Lust can turn to romantic love, but it is usually just about sexual attraction.If the other person does not reciprocate, you can't have the connection you want.
Step 7: You should stop the relationship if you can't agree.
Both sides need time to think about what they want.You might not be able to reach a shared understanding if you have different ideas about where the relationship is going.Sharing a vision about where you are going is great.It is often difficult to get out of a relationship if you and the other person are far apart.You would probably want to break it off at that point.
Step 8: Share your vision for the relationship with us.
Tell the other person what you know.Let them know if you want a monogamous relationship.If you want a sexual relationship in which you are both free to see other people, they should know that as well.Tell them what you want.I wanted to continue being with you, but I was hoping we could not date other people.I want to see where this relationship goes.I want that to continue because I think we have great sex.I am not looking for anything else at the moment.What do you think about that?I don't know where our connection will lead, but I want to take the time to explore that.How would you feel if you didn't have sex for a while?
Step 9: If the other person has the same goals for the relationship, it's time to figure it out.
Determine each of your expectations if the other person is in agreement.Any relationship you choose to have is legitimate, from one based on sex to one that saves sex and is only about romantic love, and everything in between.If you and your partner want the same thing, think about how to achieve it.What kind of parameters will you put on your time together?If you are both in love, what next steps do you want to take?I would like for you to hang out with my friends, but they really want to meet you.Would you like to attend a party with me?We want to keep this pretty light.We should get in touch when we want to have sex.Is it possible for me to call you my girlfriend/boyfriend?I was hoping that we could define each other in a similar way.
Step 10: Communication about the relationship should continue.
As time goes on, your ideas about where it is going might change.It is possible that the romantic love you felt was actually excitement and you just want to keep having sex with the other person.Sex can lead to a deeper connection and the beginnings of romantic love.I think I'm happy for us to be friends who have sex together and leave it at that, because I know we had talked about seeing where this relationship went.Being intimate with you has made me feel a deeper connection.Would you be willing to hang out and not have sex?I am confused.I thought I wanted a relationship with you.I want a relationship with someone else.What do you think about that?
Step 11: If you don't like the way the relationship is going you can speak up.
Now that you know what you want in a relationship, you need to make sure the other person knows it.It is easy to let things slide in the beginning of a relationship, but this can lead to problems later.Tell them what you want.I like going out for beers with you, but could we do something else this weekend?You always want to spend Sunday with your family.I want to do other things too, but I am okay with doing that some of the time.Do you think you can go alone this weekend?We have fallen into a pattern of just having sex and watching TV.Is it possible to plan something else sometimes?
Step 12: If you can't agree on a vision of your relationship, you should break it up.
Once the relationship has settled down into a rhythm, this might happen early.If you can't agree on the parameters of your time together, it's not going to work.It seems like a good idea to give it time, but it makes it harder to leave as time goes on.I don't think we want the same things.I think we should stop seeing each other.It has been enjoyable, but I need to move on.I want something different from you.It's too painful to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you back.I can't see you anymore.
Step 13: Allow yourself some time to think.
You are emotionally vulnerable if you want to get right back out and find someone new.Reunite with your friends and family, and reflect on what you learned from the relationship that just ended.Before you try and find someone new, you need to refresh yourself emotionally.
Step 14: You can find what works for you.
Are you looking for a physical relationship or a romantic one?Depending on where you are in your life, your answers may change.Think about where you want to meet people.You can find your next relationship in person or online.