As a teenager, finding out that a friend is pregnant can be difficult.It is possible that you are concerned for your friend's health.It is possible that a baby will change your friendship.This is a challenging time for everyone but your best friend.If you are her friend, the best thing you can do is support her and lift her up when she is down.
Step 1: Listen and offer support.
If your friend needs to talk, let her know that you are willing to listen.Do not pressure your friend to talk if she says she needs some time to process things on her own.If she wants to talk, just remind her that you are there for her.Say something like, "I am here for you and I am willing to listen if you ever need to talk."
Step 2: The news should be kept to yourself.
Do not tell anyone that your friend is pregnant without her consent.If you tell people about your friend's pregnant friend, it could cause problems for her.If your friend has not sought help for her baby, then you should talk to her about how you feel.You could say, "I know this is overwhelming for you, but I am concerned about your health and well-being as well."I think you need to see a doctor even if you don't plan to have a baby.
Step 3: How can you help?
Your friend will have to make a decision about her baby.If she wants to keep the baby, put it up for adoption, or have an abortion, it's her decision.Just ask her what you can do to help, don't try to sway her towards one decision or another.A friend might need someone to drive her to a clinic, help her find a doctor, or choose an adoption agency.Say something like, "I am here for you" to determine what she needs.What can I do to help?
Step 4: Don't say that I told you so.
Giving advice to a friend is not going to help her.Do your best not to say what she should do, what you would do or what is the best solution.Do not give her advice if she asks for it.Ask her how she is feeling.She might be emotional or sick from keeping the secret.Let her tell you how she feels.If you still love her, this will not change your friendship.She needs to know that things will be okay.The baby needs to be supported to feel positive.It is good to talk about the baby if she is going to have a baby.
Step 5: Help her find out about her options.
Your friend will have to make a decision.It may be difficult to make a decision without fully considering each option, so you may want to offer to help your friend conduct research on each of these options.Ask her what options she is considering.She may not even consider this option because she has strong feelings about abortion.Help her research the option if she is.As you research the options, help your friend make a list of pros and cons.A pro of abortion might be that she doesn't have to tell her family about the baby.A con of abortion is that she may have regrets later on.
Step 6: If she tells her parents, offer to accompany her.
Your friend will have to tell her parents if she decides to raise the child or put it up for adoption.When she tells them, you can offer to be there.Say something like, "I know you're worried about telling your parents."Do not be offended if she declines your offer.She might want to speak to her parents on her own.If the worst happens and she is kicked out of their home, be prepared for her parents to be upset and have a backup plan.Should she come to your house in the event of an emergency?Asking your parents for advice after she tells them might be useful as well.Parent to parent support can be offered by your parents.The stress of keeping the secret can be lessened by having another adult know.Make sure to check with your friend first.
Step 7: Whatever she chooses, support and respect her decision.
Your friend's decision to end or continue her pregnancy is hers to make.If she asks you for advice, you can give it, but don't try to change her mind or impose your beliefs on her.If your friend tells you that she has decided to keep the baby, you can say something like, "I know you must be really scared right now, but you will be an awesome mother!"
Step 8: She should be protected against rumors at school.
Being there for the good and bad is part of being a friend.Being a friendly support may help a pregnant girl stay in school.There are special programs for teen parents in many schools.You can ask your guidance counselor if there is one at your school.
Step 9: Don't let what's happening with your friend distract you.
It is important to support your pregnant friend, but you also need to focus on school and extracurricular activities.It can be hard to see a friend struggling, but you need space to be who you are.
Step 10: Accept that your friendship will change.
You may be jealous of her because you won't spend as much time together once she has the baby.Your friend who is pregnant may not be the best person to discuss your feelings with, so keep that in mind.You might need to talk to a trusted adult instead of stressing her out.
Step 11: If you need someone to talk to, see a counselor.
You may want to talk to a counselor if you are going through this difficult time with your friend.A safe adult can't tell your friend's secret except in certain situations.Unless your friend is in danger, a counselor cannot tell anyone else about her secret.The counselor would be obligated to find out if your friend is suicidal if you tell them.If your friend is suicidal, the counselor would have to report it to social services.You should keep in mind that talking to an adult will give you the chance to ask questions and get further information about resources that may help both you and your friend.
Step 12: Always practice safe sex.
Teens that become pregnant are at risk of dropping out of school.It is a good idea to protect yourself from your friend's situation.The life of a teen parent is not easy, even if your friend is happy about being pregnant.Condoms can protect you against STDs.Abstinence is the only way to prevent teen pregnancies.