You have to get over a long relationship that ended.
It can be difficult to let go of a long-term relationship after a break up.There are still many memories, feelings and connections after you're no longer in a relationship.It may be necessary for you to let go for your own well-being.You will eventually be able to open your heart to someone else.In order to deal effectively with the break up of a long-term relationship, you will need to engage in self-care, focus on your personal growth, and deal with your ex in a healthy manner.
Step 1: Allow yourself to think negatively.
Dealing with a break up is important.Allowing yourself to feel grief, sadness, and anger is what this means.These are normal and natural feelings after a relationship ends.Give yourself time to grieve and recover.Take care of yourself.If you want to cry in your bed, stay at home.One way to accept your feelings is to say, "It is okay for me to feel bad right now."I'm going through a tough time.Accepting the emotion without judging it or trying to change it is what getting in touch with your emotions is all about.If you sit with the emotion, you can see how it feels.What do you think about your body?This information can help you process your feelings in a healthy way.
Step 2: Talk about what happened.
The process of healing from a break up can be aided by your perception of social support.Processing your feelings out loud with trusted individuals can help with emotional healing; not to mention the support you will feel from others that care about you.It is important to acknowledge that you are hurting and to not let it get you down.A friend is needed to support you during this time.You could watch a movie in your pajamas.Discuss your feelings regarding the break up with your friend during this time.You can eat with a family member.
Step 3: Let your friends take care of you after the break up.
Your friends want to help you feel better and keep you busy.If you feel like it, let them do it.It's a good way to distract yourself after a break up.Your need for intimate contact may be stronger after a break-up.
Step 4: Write about it
Creative writing can be used to process emotions and thoughts related to a break up.Write down your feelings about the break up on a Word document.You should avoid online posts that can leave you feeling exposed.You can write a letter to your ex.Tell him how you feel.Let your anger go.If you don't send the letter he will react in a different way.
Step 5: Don't blame yourself for what happened.
Individuals who blame themselves for a break up may experience distress, anxiety, depression and reduced health outcomes.People who don't blame themselves are able to process their emotions better.If you think you might have done wrong, first you have to forgive yourself.If you wanted, you could write them down.Think to yourself, "This was a mistake and I forgive myself for it."I know what I did was wrong and I didn't want it to turn out this way.I want to stop making this mistake in the future.
Step 6: Don't try to distract yourself.
When people split up, they think about what could have been.This may lead to more distress and less emotional adjustment.Think about what you could have done to fix the situation instead of playing it again and again.If you find yourself doing this, think about something else.You can remind yourself that you could not have predicted the outcome.Don't use social media like Facebook.It can be difficult to avoid cyber-stalking your ex, and social media will not serve as a distraction if it constantly reminds you of your relationship.A study showed that people who looked at their exes on Facebook were more distressed.Pack your social calendar with activities and events.Try new things.
Step 7: Make sure to focus on yourself.
You can expand your sense of self with new relationships.It can be hard to make sense of your daily activities after a break up.Define yourself and celebrate your individuality.It is possible for some people to get a sense of freedom after a relationship ends.You were too busy to engage in activities that you used to enjoy.A new haircut or style is available.
Step 8: The positive consequences can be identified.
Many people find that break ups are positive in the end.Identifying some of the positives may make you feel better.The break up may have helped you focus on school, work, or other obligations.Break ups allow some people to have more freedom.Positive outcomes from the break up may include more confidence, self-reliance, and acceptance.You might have gained more communication skills throughout the relationship and learned valuable relationship skills, in addition to environmental and personal outcomes.You have to admit when you are wrong.
Step 9: Don't let your mistakes deter you from learning.
Lack of satisfaction within the relationship, inadequate personal investment, or perception of alternatives are some of the reasons for a break-up.People are more likely to break up if they have a strong social support system.People are more likely to break up if they are dissatisfied or not respected.Don't beat yourself up if you try to identify things you could have done better.You will be able to navigate future relationships if you view the relationship as a growing opportunity.Try to think logically instead of ruminate.
Step 10: Should you be friends or not?
People who are friends before a relationship are more likely to stay friends after a break up.If you completely withdraw from the person after the break up, you will be less likely to remain friends.You may need this time to be alone.
Step 11: Get enough space.
If you don't see and talk to your ex, you may have an easier time getting over him.If you want to avoid hanging out with him, you can remove him from your Facebook friend list.If your ex wants to stay friends, you should let him know that you need time and you will contact him when you are ready.
Step 12: Things that remind you of your ex should be thrown out.
It may be easier to grieve if you don't remember your ex.It is possible to let go of the physical and digital.If he left a toothbrush at your place, throw it out.Negative feelings can be triggered by seeing it every morning.If there is something that shouldn't be thrown away or given to charity, give it to a friend.If you want, you can either remove the photos or toss them away.If you want, you can save the photos of yourself using a photo editing program.Remove your ex's number from your phone.It's a clean slate if you need his number.
Step 13: If you bumped into each other again, be brief and polite.
It hurts to turn the break up into a fight.If you have to address your ex at this point, try to leave the situation so that you don't talk to him.The healing process involves setting boundaries.You do not have to talk to him if you don't want to.Accept him politely and smile if you decide to speak to him.Don't be disrespectful.Aggressive speech such as saying, "I hate you!" does not solve problems.
Step 14: Hold on to the good memories.
It doesn't mean you have to give up on the relationship just because it's over.It is possible that the person you had a relationship with had an impact on you and your life.If you have a lot of anger and resentment towards your ex, this is helpful.You may be able to cope positively with the relationship if you focus on the positive.Your ex should be forgiven for his mistakes.It stunts the healing process if you harbor resentment.You don't have to tell him face-to-face or even on the phone, you can forgive him in your heart and this is just as effective.Don't ruminate over the happy times.This can prolong your grief process.