Some people are outgoing but other people have to practice to be outgoing.There are several strategies that you can use to become outgoing.Learning how to present yourself to others, striking up conversations, and being more confident in yourself are some of the things that being "outgoing" involves.
Step 1: Say thanks in public.
Some people are the same every day, but never acknowledge them.It is important to acknowledge the people around you more often.The person helping you at the grocery store should smile at you when you order a coffee.Make eye contact and say thank you.This small gesture will help you become more comfortable interacting with others, and it will probably make the other person's day a little brighter.A compliment can go a long way in service situations.Many of the people that your grocery clerk or barista serves are either rude or ignore them.Say "WOW, thanks for getting that to me so quickly" to show your appreciation.
Step 2: Make eye contact.
If you're at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people.Give the other person a friendly smile once you've established eye contact.If the other person looks at you, introduce yourself.The person smiling back at you is a good sign.Let the person go their way if they don't respond.Being "outgoing" and "pushy" are different things.You don't want to interact with someone who is not interested.This approach does not work well in situations where people don't expect to be approached, such as riding public transit.When and where to approach others is part of being outgoing.
Step 3: Introduce yourself.
It is possible to be friendly and outgoing without being a charmer.Introduce yourself by saying you are new to the area, or compliment the other person.If you are at a social function, you may not be comfortable jumping straight from shyness to social butterfly.They probably feel the same as you do.They will be happy that you made the first move to say hello.If the other person seems disinterested, move on.
Step 4: Questions can be open-ended.
Asking open-ended questions is one way to be more outgoing in your conversations.People will respond with more than a "yes" or "no" if you invite them to share about themselves.Start off with a question if you've already exchanged eye contact and smiles with someone.What do you think about that book/magazine?What is your favorite thing to do?Where did you find that shirt?
Step 5: Thank you.
If you're interested in people, you will notice things that you like or appreciate.A compliment can be given to these things.Make sure that your compliment is genuine.People can tell when a compliment is not sincere.I've read that book.Great choice!I like those shoes.They go great with that skirt.Is it a latte?That's my go-to every Monday morning.
Step 6: There is a common interest.
What the two parties have in common is what the first conversations are all about.To find out what you can talk about, you may have to look for things that are similar.It should be easier if you work together or have friends that link you together.Further topics of discussion can be opened up by talking about work, your mutual friend, or your common interest.If this person is not familiar with you, you can use the situation to come up with something to talk about.If you're in a bookstore, you could ask someone for a reading recommendation.You could make a joke about being stuck in a long line.Comments that sound judgmental should be avoided.Say you love the person's haircut and then ask where they got it done.You could say that you've been looking for a pair of sneakers like the ones the other person is wearing, and ask where they came from.Comments on the person's size, skin color, or physical attractiveness are likely to be offensive.
Step 7: Pay attention to what makes people excited.
The conversation isn't going to go anywhere if A and B are dead set on talking about Italian coffee.One of these people needs to be in touch with the other person's interests.Be that person by taking the initiative.Try to notice when the other person perks up.You will be able to hear and see it.Their voice and face will be more open, and you will probably see movement in their body.
Step 8: You should chat with your coworkers.
Chances are you have an environment with built-in social contact if you make a little effort.The break room is a place where people tend to congregate.Religion or politics are not allowed in the water cooler.Try to engage people by mentioning popular culture or sports.It is a safer bet to keep a conversation friendly if you have strong opinions about these subjects.Being outgoing at work is important.People will see you as more friendly and positive if you are more outgoing.It is possible to get recognition at work by networking and chatting.
Step 9: End on a high note.
The other person should be left wanting more.Leaving the door open for future interaction is a good way to accomplish this.The other person doesn't feel like you've abandoned them when you leave the conversation.Ask about a good local dog park if you have been talking about your dogs.If the other person responds positively, you could invite them to bring their dog to the park as well.I haven't.If you make a specific invitation, it shows that you are not just being polite.Wrap up the conversation with a main point you discussed.The other person will feel like you were listening to them.Good luck with that marathon on Sunday!I would love to hear about it next week.It was nice talking with you and helping the other person feel valued.
Step 10: Talk to everyone.
Try to talk to new people as you go through your day after you become more comfortable talking to people you know.You might feel uncomfortable talking with people you don't know.The easier it will become if you approach people and make conversation.
Step 11: Specific and reasonable goals should be set.
A lot of small behaviors make it difficult to be outgoing.It is a good idea to break the goal down into smaller pieces.Set goals to have at least one conversation with a new person each day or to smile at five people every day, instead of telling yourself to be outgoing.Say "hi" to someone on the street, or ask your barista's name if you want to make small talk.These small victories will keep you going and make you feel ready for bigger challenges.
Step 12: You should join a club.
If you don't know how to approach others in social settings, join a club for a particular interest.You can interact with others who share your interest in small-scale settings.A book club or cooking class is a good example of a club that encourages socializing.The focus won't be entirely on you, but you can ask questions and get into discussions.These situations are great for shy people.A powerful bonding technique is shared experiences.You will already have common ground if you join a club where you will share experiences.
Step 13: People are invited over.
You don't have to leave your house to be outgoing.People are invited to a movie night or dinner party.They are more likely to have fun if you are welcoming and inviting.Try to create events that will make people talk.Everyone has to sip and compare notes at a wine tasting.Everyone has to bring their favorite dish and a copy of the recipe to the dinner.Having a reason to talk with each other helps a party stay lively and enjoyable.
Step 14: A hobby is a master.
It is possible that a hobby can help you feel more in control.If you master a hobby, you can feel proud and confident, which can give you more social confidence.Hobbies give you something to talk about.They give you a way to meet new people.They have a lower risk of depression.
Step 15: It is important to dress for success.
The way that you dress affects how you feel about yourself.Dressing in a way that expresses your personality and values will help you be more outgoing.If you are nervous about socializing, wear something that makes you feel powerful and attractive.You will be able to carry that confidence into your interactions.Clothes are great conversation-starters.It is possible for others to break the ice with you by wearing a fun tie or bracelet.compliment something someone else is wearing as a way to get to know them"That dress makes you look so thin!" should not be used as a compliment.The person you're talking with is not the focus of that type of comment.Try something positive like "I love the design of that tie, it's so intricate" or " I've been looking for a pair of shoes like that, where did you get them?"
Step 16: Work on your relationships.
It's important to improve your friendship with people you meet.You will be growing and gaining new experiences to share with both groups of people, as well as being more connected.Good practice is having old friends.They can introduce you to new people.Don't ignore them.They are probably going through the same things.
Step 17: Introduce people to each other.
Helping others feel comfortable is part of being outgoing.Spread the love by introducing other people to each other.Social awkwardness can be alleviated by introducing people to each other.What do each person have in common?"Hey, Steve!" you should say when you're talking to Janice from the yarn shop.This is someone else.We talked about the new band at the Factory.What do you think?
Step 18: Look at your body language.
Your body language and eye contact can tell a lot about you.The way that you hold your body affects other people.You may only have a fraction of a second to make a first impression on people.You are not comfortable in a situation if you make yourself smaller by crossing your legs, hunching, holding your arms, etc.You don't want to interact with others so it can send a message.Confidence and power can be expressed by opening yourself up.If you establish space for yourself, you don't have to take more room than you need.When you sit or stand, plant your feet firmly.Stand with your chest out.Don't point or shift your weight.How you feel about yourself is influenced by your body language.People who use low power body language, such as making themselves smaller or closing themselves off by crossing their legs or arms, experience increased cortisol, a stress hormone related to feelings of insecurity.
Step 19: Make eye contact.
By making eye contact with others, you can be more outgoing.If you look directly at a person, this is often interpreted as an invitation.The other person accepts the invitation by returning your gaze.People who make eye contact while speaking are more believable.Extroverts and socially confident people are more likely to look at people they are interacting with.Even though the eyes are in photographs or sketches, eye contact still creates a feeling of connection between people.You should keep eye contact with the other person for about 50% of the time while you are speaking and 70% when you're listening.Before you break it again, hold your gaze for 4-5 seconds.
Step 20: Use body language to express interest.
Body language can be used when interacting with others, as well as how you stand and sit.Open body language indicates that you are interested in the other person.Open body language includes smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, and looking up and around the room.You should communicate your interest in someone once you have established contact.If you tilt your head when they talk, you can show that you are interested in the other person's ideas.Many of these body language signals are used to communicate romantic and non-romantic interests.
Step 21: You should be an active listener.
Show someone that you are interested in the conversation.Don't pay attention to what they're saying.Look at them.Showing that you are following the conversation with nodding, smiling and using brief expressions such as "uh huh" or "mm hmm" is one way to do that.Don't look over the person's head or at another area of the room for more than a few seconds.This means that you are bored or not paying attention.Use central ideas as part of your response.Mention that if you are talking with someone new at a bar who has been telling you about her fly-fishing hobby.The way you describe it makes it sound like it would be fun.Allow the other person to finish speaking.Don't plan your response to give as soon as they finish.Look at the other person's communication.
Step 22: You can practice your smile.
People can tell a fake smile from a real one.The muscles around your eyes and mouth are activated by a real smile.This is called a Duchenne smile.Duchenne smiles have been shown to lower stress and produce feelings of happiness in the people who are smiling.Try to smile.Imagine a situation in which you want to show a positive emotion.In front of a mirror, practice smiling.If your eyes are crinkled at the corners, that's a sign of the real smile.
Step 23: Push yourself past your comfort zone.
You have a zone of anxiety that is just outside of your comfort zone.You are more productive when you are in this zone because you're willing to take risks, but you aren't so far away from your "safe space" that anxiety shuts you down.When you start a new job, go on a first date, or start school, you probably try harder because the situation is new to you.Your performance is improved by increased attention and effort.Take it slowly.Pushing yourself too far or too fast can damage your ability to perform because your anxiety will move past the optimal level to freak-out mode.Bigger risks can be taken as you become more comfortable with them.
Step 24: Refer to failures as learning experiences.
It is possible that the risk won't work out for you.It can be tempting to see these situations as failures.The problem is that it's totalizing.There's something you can learn from even though it looks like the worst possible outcome.How you dealt with the situation should be considered.What were you going to do?Is there anything you didn't plan for?What do you think you could do differently next time?Did you do anything to support your chances of success?Take into account what actions you took if your goal was to socialize more.Did you go to a place where you met a few people?Did you have a friend with you?Are you looking for a place to hang out where you can find people who share interests with you?Do you set your initial goals small or do you expect to be a social butterfly immediately?Next time,Scaffold for your success with the knowledge you have now.What you can control is what you should focus on.Experiencing failure can make you feel powerless.Some things are beyond your control.Think about how you can use the things you have the power to change to your advantage next time.They might be tied to your ability to perform.You may not be able to control all of the time, so learn to focus on your effort.When you make a mistake, practice self-compassion.Next time, these techniques can be used to do better.
Step 25: Take on your inner critic.
It is difficult to change your behaviors when they don't come naturally.There is a voice that tells you that she doesn't want to be your friend.You don't have anything to say.These thoughts are based on fear and not fact.You should remind yourself that you have ideas that other people want to hear.When they run through your mind, see if you can find evidence for them.If your coworker walks by your desk and doesn't say hello, you might think, "Hmm, she's really angry with me."I don't know what I did.Challenge that thought by looking for evidence to support it; chances are, you won't find much.Do you know when that person was angry before?They would probably have told you this time as well.Did you do something to upset that person?Is it possible they are having a bad day?You might be shy and this could cause you to overstate how your mistakes look to others.Most people will not reject you for an occasional mistake if you are open, honest, and friendly.Beating yourself up over your mistakes can keep you from learning.
Step 26: Be outgoing on your own terms.
There is nothing wrong with being shy.Decide what you want to change about yourself, but don't let someone else tell you to do it.Think about why you don't like being shy.Maybe it's something that could be solved.Maybe you want to be more comfortable talking with people around you.Being yourself is better than not being you.When you find yourself in situations that make you shy, think about it.What does your body do?What do you like to do?Taking charge of your reactions starts with figuring out how you operate.
Step 27: Start when you can.
Chances are slim that you'll actually make the changes you want to see if you wait until you feel like doing something.If you act the way you want to act, you can increase your self-efficacy.Your expectations can make something happen.faking it until you make it work is the reason.
Step 28: The goals should be realistic.
Changing yourself takes time.Don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake, set realistic goals for yourself.This is normal.What challenges do you face?It might be different for you to have realistic goals about being more outgoing.It is possible to make eye contact with one person each day.For you, choose goals that are realistic.
Step 29: Being outgoing is a skill.
Being outgoing can seem easy for some people, but you can learn it over time.You can change how you react to situations by setting goals and being more outgoing.Ask the outgoing people questions.Were they always that way?Do they ever feel like they have to be outgoing?Is it possible that they have their own versions of socialphobia?The answers are likely to be no, yes, and yes.They decided to take control of it.
Step 30: Think of previous successes.
As you think about interacting with the other people at a party, that familiar anxiety might overtake you.Negative thoughts about interacting with other people at a party might be a factor.Think about situations where you are comfortable interacting with people.At times, you're outgoing around family and friends.Carry that success over to this situation.We are more confident when we think of all the times we did what we are currently afraid to do.