It is one of the most difficult things you can do to end a marriage.If you've come to the conclusion that enough is enough, and it's time to end it, the first thing you should do is make a plan.Determine where you will live, get your finances in order, and hire a divorce lawyer.It's time to start your new life after that.
Step 1: Make sure the decision is the right one.
You've probably decided it's over if you're reading this article.Take some time to make sure this is the right choice.Is the marriage still worth it if you are angry, upset, or depressed?Did you try to make it work with your spouse?Do you have anything you can do to save the marriage?You know, in the end.Is it true that you and your spouse are living separate lives and spending little time together?Are you not involved in each other's daily needs?Did you stop making decisions together?Do you or your spouse use people outside the marriage to meet your emotional needs?It might be time to end it if this has been going on for a while.There is no question that if the relationship is abusive you should end it.As soon as possible, you need to get to safety.Did you get help outside?Before making this decision, talk to a marriage counselor.It can be really helpful to have a third party's input.If nothing else, talking with a marriage counselor might help you decide if this is the right thing to do.
Step 2: Think about what you can do.
You might want to consider other options, like living apart for a while or getting a legal separation, before you make plans to divorce.You will have time to live separate lives and see how it affects your family.You might see things differently if you're away from your spouse.The trial period can help you get used to the change.You might consider staying with a friend or relative for a while so that you don't have to worry about the legal side of things.There isn't time to think things through in some cases.If you're in an abusive marriage, there are steps you can take to get out.
Step 3: For now, keep your plan private.
Everything changes between you and your spouse when you end a marriage.Things can get very heated in some cases.In order to protect yourself and make sure it goes the way you want it to, you might want to keep your decision to yourself while you make plans to separate your finances and set up a new living situation.You can tell a few people who can help you, but don't tell someone who might share it with your spouse.You have a chance to leave with your finances in order.If your spouse's name is on everything you own, you'll need time to sort things out so you can start your own life.Your spouse could make it difficult.If you think the divorce could be contentious, start planning a few months in advance.It's important if you're leaving an abusive situation.Make plans, then leave.Before long, your spouse will find out.
Step 4: You should tell your spouse.
You know how to break the news.For the sake of clarity, it's a good idea to have a straightforward conversation if you've been fighting for a long time.If you want the discussion to be less likely to lead to another fight, you can arrange a quiet time at home or in public.To know when it will happen, mark your calendar and figure out a place and time.Start with "We both know this is not working out" if you're looking for the right words to say.I'm ready to end the marriage.Your spouse will either agree or be upset.In the best case, you'll be able to remain friends, but a marriage's end can be very unpredictable.
Step 5: Do you have a good financial situation?
You could be left penniless after the divorce if you have joint accounts.Don't assume that everything will be perfect.It's possible that your spouse will take more than his or her share.If you want to protect yourself, you need to separate your money from your spouse's and start a separate bank account.Make sure to put in as much of your own money as possible.Unless there is an emergency, don't take money from joint accounts.Start your own line of credit.If you don't have your own credit card, it's a good idea to start building your credit history now so you can get a loan or make a down payment on a new place.
Step 6: Save money.
If you've been relying on your spouse's income, you might need to get a job or take on a new source of income so that you can stock away money to support yourself during and after the divorce.You might need to take a second job or go from part time to full time if this means you have another source of income.Cut back on spending is one of the things you can do to save money.For the time being, limit your purchases to necessities.Make a budget, and stick to it.Determine how much money you will need to hire an attorney, rent a new place, pay for groceries, and so on.
Step 7: Do you know where you're going to live?
In the first few weeks or months you could stay with a friend or relative, but in time you'll need to find a permanent home.It's more important to find a stable place to live if you have children.It's a good idea to spend some time researching affordable options.Discuss who will live in the home you are sharing with your spouse if you're on good terms.If you are going to be on your own, you might want to move to a new city to start over.Think about who you would like to stay with.Determine what size house or apartment you can afford if you have kids.
Step 8: Plans should be made for the children.
If you have kids, you'll need to account for the big changes the end of your marriage will bring into their lives.Will they live in the same house?Are you going to the same school?You have to figure out how their living situation will change and account for small changes.If you and your spouse go over it in detail, it will be easy on your children.Decide when to let them know.It's a big deal to tell your children you're getting divorced, and you need to think about it.Think about who has custody.Do you want full or partial custody of the children?If you want full custody, you need to have a good reason, like your spouse is abusive or not fit to be a parent.Documentation can be used to prove it in court.
Step 9: There is emotional support.
It's not easy to get over marriage.While you and your spouse get divorced, you're going to need a lot of support from your friends and family.Tell the people closest to you what's going on and ask for their help.Ask your friends who have been through it if they have any advice.You should consider getting therapy.The divorce process can be difficult, and a therapist can help you through it.Take good care of yourself.One of the hardest life experiences a person can have is ending a marriage.It's over, you thought you were going to spend your life with this person.You are going to be dealing with a lot of emotions.Make sure you're eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, spending time outside, and doing whatever it is that makes you feel good.
Step 10: Start living on your own.
It's time to go ahead and live separately if this means packing up your belongings or saying goodbye to your spouse who is moving out.If your lives are different from one another's, things will be easier during the divorce proceedings.Pick out your partners and your belongings.You'll need to figure out who paid for what when it comes to purchases you made with each other.It's possible to leave for a few days while your partner moves out.You don't want to have a fight when you're packing boxes and leaving.
Step 11: Hire a divorce attorney.
It can be difficult to navigate a divorce on one's own.It's not something you want to do on your own.You should have an attorney look over your divorce paperwork.It is possible to find a divorce lawyer that you can afford.There is an attorney who handles divorces.Pick someone with experience, not just anyone from the phone book.If your spouse doesn't want to get a divorce, or if you plan to file for adultery, this is important.If you can't afford an attorney, you could still hire a paralegal to help you navigate the process or review your paperwork to make sure it's in order.There are resources for a "do it yourself" divorce.To find out if this option is available, conduct research.
Step 12: If you want a divorce, file it.
There are different requirements for filing for divorce in different states.Carefully fill out the paperwork and file it on time with your attorney.The first step in most cases is to file a petition for divorce with your local court clerk.Your spouse will need to respond to the petition.
Step 13: Take part in divorce proceedings.
Depending on the specifics of your divorce, you may be able to reach an out of court settlement.You might not need to go to court if the divorce is a "no contest" one.If your spouse does not want the divorce or doesn't agree to your terms, you will have to go to court to have a judge rule on matters of property distribution, alimony, child custody and child support.You may need to present evidence during the process.If you need them, organize your papers so they are ready.Every step of the process should be assisted by your attorney.There will be a separate set of paperwork if the custody of your children is in question.You should be prepared to present evidence about your fitness as a parent.You will need to show that you have a stable income.
Step 14: Be active.
This will be an emotional experience for you.It can take many months for the divorce process to be completed.It will take a long time to get used to your new situation, even if the divorce was contentious.Get help from a counselor if you need it, and lean on your friends and family for support.You can celebrate this chance for a new chapter in your life when your marriage is over.