A healthy marriage involves emotional and physical sharing.Inseparable couples sometimes drift apart due to the daily demands placed on them.This doesn't mean the marriage is over or the couple is not in love.Scheduling time to be together, doing things with one another, and communicating more effectively are some of the things you can do to increase your marriage's intimacy.
Step 1: There is a reason for the lack of intimacy.
It is possible to determine what caused the lack of intimacy in your relationship.There are a lot of reasons that intimacy dwindles.Discuss why you think the intimacy is gone with your partner.Ask them if they think the intimacy has gone down.If you and your partner have different reasons for why intimacy is lacking, this can be very effective.It's a good place to start talking about issues in your marriage.Bills, jobs, kids, parents, commitments, and lack of time are some of the things that lead to a decrease in intimacy.You won't know what the problem is unless you talk about it.You will only be guessing if you don't ask directly.
Step 2: It's important to prioritize your marriage.
Life is full of responsibilities.You may not have time to focus on your marriage when you are busy with other responsibilities.The decrease in intimacy can be caused by this.Marriage is an important part of your life, not something you push to the side.Every day, make your marriage an important aspect of your life.You should work on your marriage and relationship every day.If you want your marriage to be an important part of your life, you may have to give up some things.You can order takeout instead of spending an hour in the kitchen cooking a meal, you can tell your children to go play alone for a half hour, or you could just not check your work email at home.If you don't want to watch TV for two hours, you can take a bath with your spouse, sit on the porch and talk, or do a shared activity.
Step 3: It's important to balance your spouse and children.
People lose touch with their spouse when they have kids.A healthy marriage is a part of raising kids.Some of the time you spend with your children can be used to improve your marriage.This does not mean that you are neglecting your kids.Having a stress-free, intimate, happy marriage is just as important for your children as your time with them.You can encourage your children to play with their siblings or in their room for half an hour on weekends to give you and your spouse time to spend together.Allowing your child to go to a slumber party or not going to every sports practice will allow you to work on your relationship with your partner.
Step 4: Schedule time to be with each other.
Spending time together is a part of your marriage work.If you don't make time for your marriage, it's not a priority.Look at your schedule.Each day, find a block of time where you can be with your spouse.To make time for your spouse, you may have to cancel something, rearrange certain responsibilities, or make certain things easier and quicker to do.If you choose to make a quick, easy dinner, you and your spouse can have half an hour after dinner to talk.You can ask your spouse to pick up the kids instead of you, go to the gym in the morning, or move a stack of work the next day.No electronic devices are required to spend at least 15 to 30 minutes together.Discuss your days with one another.Hold on to one another.A kiss.Enjoy each other and connect.
Step 5: Plan with your spouse.
It is not possible to increase the intimacy in your marriage on your own.It has to be done by you and your spouse.You should plan together when you are figuring out how and when to spend time together.Don't tell your spouse.Work together.This can lead to more intimate relationships.You should sit down with your weekly calendars.You can squeeze in 15 or 20 minutes to be together.If evenings are bad, you should consider mornings or lunch dates.If close friends or family members are willing to watch your kids now and then, you can spend some time alone with your spouse.If you want to know if a friend has children around the same age, you could ask your children's grandparents.
Step 6: Give them what they need.
There are different things that a person needs.Some people are more emotional than others.You and your spouse should talk about what you need each other to do.You could say, "I need to be touched more, like hand holding, hugs, or your arm around me."Meeting your spouse where they need you to can help you both get what you need, which leads to deeper intimacy.
Step 7: Plan a break.
Every few months, you and your spouse should take a mini vacation.You can either go camping, get a hotel room, or stay in a bed and breakfast with the other person.The two of you will be able to work on physical and emotional intimacy in private.You should try to take a weekend away at least once a year.If you can't afford to go away, you may be able to get grandparents or family friends to keep your children for a night so you and your spouse can have a romantic break at home.
Step 8: Make time for sex.
Emotional intimacy is more important than physical intimacy.Increasing physical intimacy can help to nurture emotional intimacy.It is possible to schedule time for sex throughout the week.You can either get up early to have sex or go to bed early.It is possible to use the time while the kids are at practice or after they leave for school.Busy adults don't always have time for romance, even if they are together.Making time to be together, touching each other, and engaging in foreplay will help you not worry about whether it was planned or not.Leave a sexy note on your spouse's pillow or send a text message to schedule intimate time.
Step 9: Surprise your spouse.
It is possible to increase intimacy by doing small things throughout the day that will surprise your spouse and make them feel good.These small things take a few seconds and let your spouse know that you are thinking about them.If you send a text that says, "I love you" or " I miss you," you can cook dinner, do the dishes, or wash a few loads of clothes.
Step 10: Don't leave your spouse out of your life.
It's perfectly fine that couples have different interests.It is possible to include your spouse in things you like to do if you are trying to build intimacy.To go out with your friends, or to try out an activity that you enjoy, ask them to come along with you.Ask your spouse to come with you if you enjoy fishing.Even if they don't fish, they can sit with you, talk, or read a book, and you can enjoy being together.You can ask your spouse to go hiking with you if you like to be active.If you go out with your friends to watch a game, invite your spouse along.
Step 11: Try something new.
If you can't find things to talk about or feel comfortable around one another, it's time to get out of your rut.Try to do something new.It can be anything if you are doing it together.You can try taking a cooking class, learning a foreign language, or playing a game.Something that you can do together will increase your communication.
Step 12: You should listen to your spouse.
You should not just listen and talk during those discussions.Listen when your partner is talking.You should get to know them again.Listen to their concerns.Sharing thoughts with each other and caring about what your spouse says is how intimacy is built.It's a good idea to summarize what your spouse has told you.Prompt your spouse to use short, one-word responses if you say "So, you're saying that..." or "Let me see if I understand this correctly..."You can make noises of understanding or encourage, or ask questions.Or "Oh"?What happened after that?Say something like, "It seems like you're feeling upset/scared/anxious/depressed/happy" or "I am glad you trusted me enough to share this with me."Keep eye contact with your spouse.Don't think about things other than what you want to eat.Keep your focus on your spouse.
Step 13: Talk about important things.
It is important to discuss more important things while sharing pieces of your day and talking about random things.Deeper questions on a personal level may be included.Why your spouse thinks that way is the subject of these questions.You can ask your partner questions such as why they love travel so much, where they learned a habit, or if they need to do something a certain way.Ask them how their upbringing has influenced their view of the world.Discuss goals and dreams with your partner.It's possible that you did this when you first got married, but what people want over the years.Discuss what you want from life based on where you are right now.When we first met, you loved to travel.Where would you like to go?Why would you want to go there?I'm interested in knowing more about you.You've always been on time and insist on not being late.Why is this so important to you?Have you been like this before?Ask your spouse if your childhood influenced your political/religious/moral beliefs.What are your dreams and goals?We haven't talked about them in a long time, and I want to know what's important to you now.
Step 14: Seek help.
You may want to see a marriage counselor if you and your partner are struggling to build intimacy.They can help you learn to communicate.A marriage counselor can help you work on emotional and physical intimacy.If you aren't sure where to start building intimacy or if one of you disagrees, this can help.