You are not alone in dealing with a toxic relationship.Toxic relationships include family relationships, friends, and romantic relationships.The first thing you can do to fix a toxic relationship is focus on yourself.Work with the other person to break toxic patterns.You can rebuild your relationship.
Step 1: Try not to fix the other person.
It is tempting to fix the other person if you care about them.Trying to change another person's thoughts or behaviors will only make the situation worse.You should focus on yourself.Trying to change the other person will be hard for you and them.Learning to support your own emotions will have a bigger impact on fixing your relationship.
Step 2: You can reach out to trusted friends and family.
Discuss what you are going through with them.If you share your struggles and concerns, they won't build up inside of you.You can choose to take or ignore the advice they offer.Pick people who will not judge you, your actions, or the other person.If you want to improve your situation, don't try to turn people against each other.Try to get some relief.If you feel ready, ask those you trust to point out their observations so you can gain an outside perspective on the situation and change your behavior for the better.They may say that you trust their statements about you more than your own.
Step 3: You can develop interests, hobbies, and goals.
People in a toxic relationship may rely on the other person to fulfill their needs, because they feel that they can't be who they are.Learning how to fulfill your own needs by focusing on what makes you happy is the best way to overcome that.You will be able to break the toxic cycle by improving your self-esteem.You will be a better partner if you work on yourself.The relationship will still improve even if the other person doesn't change.You can enroll in a class, join a recreational sports team, or try out a new hobby.
Step 4: Journal.
Journaling can help you work through what is bothering you.It can help you understand your problems.Write about how you feel in your relationship.A paper journal or a digital journal can be used.If you install the app on your phone, you will be able to write from any device.If you are an artist, you could try art journaling instead of writing your thoughts.
Step 5: You can use your skills to help manage your emotions.
You can control how you react to someone else doing something.You can have better interactions with the other person if you choose healthy coping skills.Meditate to calm your mind.Take a bath.You can use essential oils.Go for a stroll.Do breathing exercises.There is an adult coloring book.Take time with your pet.You can go out with friends.
Step 6: Talk to a therapist.
If you're in a toxic relationship, a therapist can help you change it.They can help you break the toxic cycle by teaching you to be a stronger person with better self-esteem.Your therapist will help you cope.You can use the internet to find a therapist.
Step 7: Communication lines should be open.
You might pull away when you feel that your relationship is toxic.This will not help you fix your issues.Your partner will not be able to give you what you want in a relationship if they don't know.Talk to the person.Pick up the phone first if you approach them first.They can't read your mind, so tell them what you hope to see."I want us to spend more quality time alone together so I feel like our relationship is fully committed."When telling them what you want, be assertive and honest.Don't stop advocating for your needs if you're afraid of how they will react or feel bad.Your feelings matter as well.Consider opening multiple lines of communication.You can use texting, calling, and email to help you talk more often.Don't walk away from them if your personal safety is at risk.The lines of communication are shut down.
Step 8: Don't engage in mind games.
It is hard to break a habit of mind games in toxic relationships.You may think mind games are the only way to get your needs met, but they actually make things worse.It is better to tell your partner what you want.Keeping score of chores, sacrifice, unmet needs, and other mind games are toxic.Dropping hints instead of openly communicating your needs is being passive aggressive.Even though it isn't okay, tell your partner that everything is okay.
Step 9: Tell them how you feel.
No matter how well they know you, no one can read your mind.If you tell them, they will know how you feel.Don't hold your feelings back, share them as you experience them.You will eventually blow up if you bottle up your feelings.You can tell your partner that you need time with the girls, but you don't want to go out with your friends.
Step 10: Listen to it.
The other person needs to feel heard.It is possible that they see things differently from you.Understanding how you feel about the situation is important.While they talk to you, make eye contact.They know you are listening when you acknowledge comments.If you are in a toxic relationship, you may feel that the other person's perspective is flawed.Denying their feelings will not help.Understanding where the things are coming from is the only way to fix them.They can tell you what you need to know.They may be the same as you have unmet needs.
Step 11: Look at their signals and yours.
Words can say as much as non verbal signals.You can understand them better by watching their body movements, and you can monitor your own to make sure you don't send the wrong message.They are not listening to you if you avoid eye contact.Keeping eye contact will show you are interested.You are closed off if you fold your arms across your chest.If they do this, try to put them at ease, and avoid doing it themselves.Loud and aggressive behavior can mean that you are angry.Inform your partner that you are listening and encourage them to calm down.Take a few deep breaths if you start getting loud.They are closed off to you if they turn away from you.They should open the lines of communication.Don't turn away from your partner while you're talking.
Step 12: You should keep your emotions in check.
The situation can become worse if you express your emotions at the wrong time.Don't let your emotions get in the way of your communication with the person.Both of you can be heard if you stay calm during your conversation.Afterwards, you can talk to a friend, write a journal, or discuss your feelings with your therapist.Count to 10 before you respond if you feel overwhelmed with emotion.
Step 13: If you're tempted, don't bring up the past.
The past is with you.Repairing the present and building a better future is what you need to fix the relationship.Bringing up grievances will keep you stuck in bad habits.If you refuse to let go of the past, your relationship won't improve.The other person is told nothing will matter if they bring up past mistakes.It's best to work with a therapist if you need help overcoming past issues.
Step 14: There are behavior patterns that cause conflicts.
You can avoid the pattern if you know it.You can work with the other person to break the pattern.They may refuse to acknowledge the problem.You can learn to step away.You may become upset if the other person ignores your feelings.This could cause you to fight and leave you both upset.Knowing the behavior pattern can help you make better decisions.
Step 15: Understand what causes you to be upset.
If you know your triggers, you can better deal with them.You can uncover what makes you react by looking at your past patterns.Why does my mom make me so angry?Why do I get upset when my partner leaves?Why am I in this relationship?What does my partner do that upsets me?Do I find this upsetting?
Step 16: The other person has an emotional Trigger.
The other person will also be upset by things you have.It is likely that you are triggering each other when there is a conflict.Just before they get upset, pay attention to what's happening.You can ask them what triggered their feelings.You could ask if you became angry.Can you tell me why you feel that way?Step away from the situation if your partner is abusing you.You don't have to justify another person's abusive behavior.
Step 17: You should take responsibility for managing your emotions.
It is possible to not react to the other person.You have the ability to control your own emotions.You will feel better in the long run if you feel frustrated initially.Take a few cleansing breaths when you feel upset.It can help you manage your stress if you visualize yourself calming down.Afterwards, take a bath, talk to a friend, or write down your feelings in a journal.It is possible to change your reaction to the other person.You don't want to emotionally react for your benefit.
Step 18: The person making the effort should be respected regardless of the outcome.
It will take time to see improvements in your relationship.You should celebrate the efforts you are both putting into it.It is a good idea to thank your partner for respecting your decision to go out with friends.Give your mom credit for making it through the phone call.I can tell you are working hard to show me how much you care for me.I want you to know that I am very appreciative of you.
Step 19: Share your gratitude for the good things they do.
It is easy to getbogged down in the negatives of a relationship.Sharing 3 things you are grateful for at least once a week is a good idea.This will remind you of why you want to fix the relationship and show them that you see their positive qualities as well as the negative.Let them know that you enjoy their sense of humor, enjoy eating the dishes they cook, and appreciate that they always clean up after breakfast.You can tell your mom that you're grateful for her giving you life, that she calls you often, and you appreciate the nice things she says about you to her friends.
Step 20: Set and maintain boundaries.
You can protect yourself with boundaries.If you have boundaries with the other person, you will not tolerate them.If your boundaries are crossed, tell the person what you will do.You can set a boundary that you won't tolerate name calling from your mom.If you call me rude names, I will not stay on the phone with you.You could set a boundary with your partner that you won't answer the phone while you're out with friends."During girls night, I'm going to put my phone on silent," you could say.I will not answer if you try to call.
Step 21: Negative behaviors can hurt your relationship.
You can make sure your own behaviors are positive, but you can't control your partner.Criticizing your partner is one of the problematic behaviors to avoid.
Step 22: Make your relationship a priority.
If you want your relationship to improve, it has to be important to you.Let the other person know that you want to work on it, and ask them to do the same.Stick to your schedule and you will be able to improve your relationship.You can commit to spending 2 hours with your mom every weekend if you call her once a week.You can schedule a date night with your partner and commit to talking about your feelings every night.Toxic relationships may be consuming all of your time, so keep in mind that your relationship doesn't have to be your only priority.Priorities include your career, family, friends, and goals.
Step 23: Quality time is spent together and apart.
You can grow closer to each other by spending time together.Time apart helps you stay mentally healthy and bonds with others.It is important for a relationship to have both of them.Ensure that both of you are getting your needs met by working with the other person.If you want to rebuild a relationship, try dating again.Set aside time for you to spend with other important people in your life.If you want to get to know someone better, invite them on outings or out for coffee.You can schedule weekly phone calls or text sessions.
Step 24: They should support each other's passions.
It's important that you have interests outside of the relationship.Sometimes it's good to have each other in that world.When you can, involve the other person in what you are doing.Show them that you support their work.You could invite them to an art show or to see a sign that you just put up.Even if you don't like the sport, you can watch their game.
Step 25: They should be respectful towards each other.
You both need to respect each other in a relationship.You can't have a healthy partnership without respect.Don't engage in name calling because you can do your part to be respectful.Don't raise your voice to them.Don't be critical of their feelings or interests.
Step 26: Together, go to therapy.
If you are hung up on the past, therapy can help you work through your problems.Your therapist can help you improve your communication skills.They can help you understand each other's perspective.Couple's therapy can be used if your relationship is toxic.Family therapy can be used for a family relationship.There is a way to find a therapist online.
Step 27: If the other person doesn't want to improve their relationship, take a break.
If the other person behaves in a way that is toxic, you might have to walk away.It is impossible to change another person.It is in your best interests to end the relationship.It is sometimes difficult to end a relationship.It is difficult to leave a toxic relative behind.When you are ready to talk again, you can take a break from them and then enforce your boundaries.