It is tiring to walk on eggshells.If you live with someone who is controlling, you may find yourself doing that.Controllable people are draining, whether it's a significant other, family member, or friend.Stay calm and not take things personally.When necessary, assert yourself and set firm boundaries with the controlling person.Spending time with friends will allow you to find freedom outside your home.
Step 1: Don't be angry during frustrating situations.
You are fanning the flames if you meet a controlling person.Stay calm when someone tries to control you.Being controlled is frustrating, but a calm response is more productive.People who want to control are aggressive.They use this tactic to intimidate you.They're less likely to target you if you show you won't be intimidated.When confronted or criticized, stay calm.Take a deep breath before reacting.You may regret saying something if you respond immediately.Say something like, "I'll think about it" or "Let's talk this over later" instead of firing back with angry criticism.You have some time to think about healthy ways to set boundaries.
Step 2: Do not take it personally.
It isn't about you if a person is controlling.This is not the case if a control person blames you.The reasons and issues of a controlling person have nothing to do with you.Try to understand the controller.You live with your boyfriend who is very controlling.You say you're going out with a friend and will be back late.He wants you to come back by a certain time.Do not feel bad.You have not done anything wrong.Consider why your boyfriend behaves this way.My boyfriend is so controlling, but his dad puts a lot of pressure on him.I can't give up my life for him because controlling another person is never okay.It's not an excuse to acknowledge how and why the behavior occurs.It's important to have perspective in order to keep your self-esteem intact.It isn't a permanent solution.You will need to establish healthy boundaries in the future.
Step 3: It should include humor.
The tension of hostility can be alleviated by a good sense of humor.If you can, use humor to diffuse the situation.This works best in more mild situations.If someone is hostile, they may not like humor.You live with your mother who is very controlling.She ignores you when you disobey her orders.You come home one day and ask how your day was.Your mother doesn't reply.Give a funny response."Cat got your tongue?" or "Earth to mom!"This could help diffuse the situation.
Step 4: Pick your battles.
You don't want to have a power struggle with a controlling person.Nature thrives on these kinds of confrontations.It's time to let go of unimportant matters.When you leave half-full glasses in the fridge, your father dislikes it.You find it frustrating that he tends to get on your case.This is annoying, but you can probably ignore it.It isn't worth engaging in a power struggle.If you can, leave glasses in the fridge less often.For more important matters, save your energy.
Step 5: Don't indulge in bad behaviors.
A controlling person may want to control you.They may try to control other people.A controlling person will often ask you to help them.Doing so won't help either of you.Your girlfriend is very controlling when it comes to social plans.She always has a reason to change the plans you make with your friends.She may expect you to support her when she wants to change a meeting place for a social gathering.Do not agree to do this if you don't want to.Say something like, "I think Theo really likes this bar."We've had these plans for a while, so let's meet there.It's out of the way for everyone when you want to go.
Step 6: The person needs to control others.
This can help you figure out how to address the issue.A person's reasons don't excuse the behavior.Establishing boundaries can go more smoothly if you know the reasons.Controls on behavior is usually a defense mechanism.People use it to bury their emotions.Take into account the person who controls you.What issues do they have that could lead to a need for control?Most controlling people have anxiety.They try to control their nerves by controlling the world.Understand how the controlling person feels inside.They might have lacked stability in childhood.They may have had bad relationships in the past.All this can lead to a need for control.
Step 7: Take care of your fundamental rights.
It can be easy to forget your rights if you're living with someone who's controlling.People who are controlling blame others for their behavior, and make those around them feel reasonable demands.This isn't the case.Controllable people tend to violate fundamental rights as a person.Everyone has the right to be treated with respect.Even if the person did not intend to disrespect you, that is not acceptable.Basic independence is allowed.You should be able to say what you want.You can have different opinions.You should be able to make your own decisions.You should be able to say no without feeling guilty.
Step 8: What behavior is acceptable should be clear.
The controlling person needs to be made aware of this.Establishing where the line is is a part of setting boundaries.Make it clear what you will not tolerate when talking to the person.You should tell which behaviors are damaging to your relationship.Be firm because controlling people push back your boundaries.A controlling person is able to debate with you.Keeping boundaries in place is important when asserting yourself.You could tell your boyfriend, "I feel uncomfortable and hurt when you curse at me during arguments."I don't want you cursing at me anymore.If you start cursing at me, I will end the conversation or leave the house until you calm down.I would argue that people just curse when they talk and it's an accepted part of speech now.It's how I express myself.Restate your boundaries.Say something like, "I understand you feel that way, but I find it disrespectful and I'm not going to tolerate it anymore."Your boyfriend may push boundaries in the future.He can curse at you if he wants to assert control.When this happens, remind him of the boundaries you have set."You're cursing at me, and I told you that's not acceptable."
Step 9: Accept some people will not change.
You can't change a person.Many controlling people don't have the mental strength to change.You should consider ending the relationship if someone doesn't give up control.It is not about you.There's a need for control when controlling people have issues they're failing to deal with.There is a choice in the situation.You can accept their rules or not.Disengaging can mean ending the relationship or decreasing contact.
Step 10: Control can be abused.
Control can lead to abuse in romantic relationships.If you feel isolated in your home, consider whether or not this behavior is abusive.Financial control can be a red flag.Is this person in charge of how you spend money?Do they keep your credit card out of your hands at times?They can force you to explain your spending by reading credit card bills or bank statements.Is this person isolating you?Abusers will try to cut you off from support.They can make you feel guilty for spending time with family and friends.Abusers deny their bad behavior."I was panicked when I cursed at you!"You can't hold me accountable!"I've been cheated on in the past, which is why it's hard for me when you go out without me."If you gave me more reasons to trust you, I wouldn't be so controlling.").
Step 11: When it's necessary, assert yourself.
You can't allow yourself to be controlled.In the moment, assert yourself if you feel like your boundaries are being violated.As you calmly state your case, be firm, but not aggressive.Say so when you feel like a boundary is crossed.Let the person know the consequences of their actions.Stay calm.They're getting a reaction when you become hostile.Your boyfriend berates you for coming home too late.He doesn't like you and Lucy running around together.I don't think she's a good friend for you.Do not say, "You are being a jerk for telling me who I should and shouldn't be friends with."This is ridiculous.Say something like, "I have the right to choose my friends."You can't force me to stop spending time with my friends.
Step 12: It's a good idea to stay out of your home as much as possible.
Seek space whenever possible if you can't get out of your living situation.It's important to spend as much time away from home as possible for your mental health.There are public places where you can spend time.For an afternoon, you can bring your laptop to a coffee shop and browse the internet.Spend time with your friends.You can invite people to go out on the town with you if you're unhappy at home.
Step 13: Don't dependence on a controlling person.
This can be difficult if the controlling person is a parent or spouse.Get your own money and finances together.You don't want to be dependent on a controlling person financially, as this will rob you of a lot of independence.You need to protect yourself emotionally as well.Don't tell your secrets to a controlling person.They might use these things to control you.You should keep your own friends group and support system.
Step 14: If necessary, end the relationship.
If the situation has gotten out of control, you may need to leave.It's possible to stay with a family member or friend.Let the controller know that you don't want to have a relationship with them anymore.It is possible to think about what you would advise someone else to do.Imagine someone coming to you with a list of problems.Would you tell them to leave?If you ended the relationship, what would you get?Would you have less stress in your life?Is it possible to better focus on your own goals?Think about why you're here.Do you feel bad for the person?A sense of guilt can keep people in bad relationships.
Step 15: Contact should be cut off.
This might be a good option after moving out.People who are controlled are good at manipulation.Even though you're no longer sharing a home with them, they may still cause you stress.They should avoid events, block their phone number, and not see them again in the future.
Step 16: If it's necessary, contact the authorities.
Sometimes controlling people can be dangerous.If someone is preventing you from leaving or harassing you after you've moved out, report it to the police.A family law attorney can help if you are in a controlling situation.If you're being abused, many family law attorneys will give you a free consultation.If you need to escape an abusive situation, you can look into legal emancipation.