Betrayal is like a train wreck that you don't see coming.There are many circumstances that could be considered betrayal, from a friend turning on you in your time of need to a romantic partner carrying on an affair behind your back.For the sake of your mental and emotional health, you should forgive the person who betrayed you.You should surround yourself with people who care.You can rebuild your relationship if you forgive the person.
Step 1: Understand forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn't mean accepting the betrayal.Forgiveness is freeing yourself of the anger and anguish that you felt towards the person who betrayed you.Forgiveness is letting go of resentment against the other person.When you refuse to move on from someone who betrayed you, you are the only one hurt.If you don't forgive others after a betrayal, you will remain tethered to the person who hurt you, and will not be able to live your own life to full capacity.
Step 2: Do you want to forgive?
There are two reasons to forgive someone.Staying true to the value system is one thing.The emotional pain caused by betrayal is helped by the other.Both can work together.Forgiveness is encouraged by religious traditions.The second reason to forgive is to move beyond the pain and misery caused by the person who betrayed you.Forgiveness can be used to help you work your way through the sadness of betrayal.
Step 3: Don't force forgiveness.
Making an explicit decision to forgive is important, but it can take time to experience forgiveness and be free of the pain.It will take a long time for forgiveness to happen.Even slight betrayals can take time to stop hurting; however, if you maintain forgiveness as your goal, you will eventually get there.
Step 4: Discuss the future of your relationship with the betrayer.
Some betrayals are so bad that you can't recover the relationship.You might feel that the relationship is not worth saving even if you forgive someone.Think about your relationship with the person who betrayed you.Are they part of your life?Can you imagine life without them?Analyze the person.It's only worth rebuilding a relationship with someone if they show genuine remorse for what they've done and are working to regain your trust.
Step 5: Acknowledge your feelings.
It is perfectly normal to be sad, ashamed, or angry about being betrayed.Try to find a way to deal with the feelings.The first step toward forgiveness is accepting how you feel, which is an important step towards emotional recovery.You could feel resentment, contempt, and disgust at the person who betrayed you.
Step 6: You should write a letter to the person who betrayed you.
Writing a letter is therapeutic because it allows you to express yourself in an honest, thoughtful way.You can re-read the letter after a few days.You could send the letter.You could burn the letter in order to get rid of the negative feelings contained in it.The process of forgiveness can be helped by writing a letter.
Step 7: Discuss the betrayal with a trusted friend or family member.
Recovering emotionally after a betrayal requires support from those who care about and love you.Tell your friend or family member about the betrayal.You will feel better and be more willing to forgive if you talk through the betrayal with someone.You can talk to someone you trust about how to forgive someone who betrayed you.If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone in your social circle, you could see a therapist.People are trained in how to deal with painful feelings and betrayal.
Step 8: A sense of power can be regained.
You might feel a sense of powerlessness when betrayed.If you want to regain a sense of power in your life, you need to think of yourself as a person who does things, rather than as someone who has betrayed you.It may be difficult to forgive someone else if you don't feel free in your own life.Positive self-talk can help you regain power in your life.Say to yourself, "I value myself and others."They love me in return.I will show love to people who make me feel safe.
Step 9: Don't give up, stay positive.
You can shift your attention away from the betrayal and the pain it brought you by using restorative images.The images reinforce positive thinking and healthy values by keeping you focused on safety, happiness, and your own future instead of looking back at the pain in your past.With positive images in mind, you will be able to see the process of forgiveness as a healthy step on the road to your own healing.Imagine a scene that embodies something positive that you value.Love is one of your positive core values.Think back to a time when you felt loved.You can assign the image of love to your childhood, where you were raised by a loving mother and father.It is possible to draw images from your own life experience.
Step 10: It's time to rebuild your self-confidence.
You are capable of learning from and overcoming challenges if you have self-confidence.You may feel like you are not worth anything after a betrayal, since you have been hurt.If you want to rebuild your self-confidence, you need to remember your victories at work, school, or in your personal life.You will be able to forgive the person who betrayed you once you rebuild your self-confidence.Positive self-talk can help rebuild your confidence.If you are plagued by the idea that you deserved to be betrayed because you were dumb, you can tell yourself that the person who betrayed you was wrong.Do things you know you can do.If you are a musician, join a band or write a song.You can join a community sports team if you are a strong athlete.Doing things you are good at will make you feel more confident.
Step 11: Practice being aware of what's happening around you.
Each of the abilities can help you recover emotionally from the betrayal you suffered.Being objective when thinking about betrayal and acting in a thoughtful, deliberate way is what staying aware of is all about.Don't forget that the betrayal is in the past.The perspective on the betrayal will be given by this, so you can think of ways to hurt the person who betrayed you.
Step 12: You should engage in self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the understanding that sometimes life is painful, but through your pain, you are connected to the rest of humanity.Think about other people who have been betrayed by someone.You will feel less isolated and alone if you think about the fact that your situation is not unique and that others have overcome betrayal in their own lives.You will be better able to forgive the betrayer if you gain new perspectives on your betrayal.Lando betrayed Han in The Empire Strikes Back, but they were reconciled after Han forgiven him.
Step 13: You should be loving toward yourself.
We have a tendency to blame ourselves after being betrayed.It was not possible for you to have known you would be betrayed.You can choose to love yourself, even though you have no control over the actions of others.It will be difficult to love or forgive anyone else unless you can love yourself.Spending time with friends and family, shopping at your favorite store, or relaxing in a warm bath are ways to love yourself.
Step 14: You should give meaning to the betrayal.
The betrayal may seem random at the time, but you should try to give the experience value.You could think of ways in which you might be thankful for it, instead of thinking of it as a terrible event.You can use the meaning of betrayal to strengthen your emotional strength and forgive the person who betrayed you.If your partner cheated on you, you might be happy that you discovered it and stop the cycle of betrayal.Like a sword forged in flame, you have emerged stronger from the betrayal, even though it was painful.
Step 15: You have to admit how you are feeling.
Being honest with someone who betrayed you can be difficult.If you want to repair your relationship with the person who let you down, you need to take the risk and open up to him.When confronting someone who betrayed you, stay calm.It may be tempting to yell, scream, and accuse him, but the mature response is to speak calmly in an even tone and be direct when talking about how you feel.When expressing your feelings, use "I" statements.You can say, "I feel very hurt by your actions" or "You are a rotten person and do not deserve to be happy."
Step 16: You should trust the person who betrayed you.
The person who betrayed you is the most important part of rebuilding trust.If it isn't obvious, the person who betrayed you should try to understand why you feel betrayed.If you both want to make things right again, you can begin the process of rebuilding trust.It's important that the person who betrayed you and yourself is sympathetic.Why did she do what she did?It's not necessary to say "I forgive you" to the person who betrayed you in order to rebuild your relationship.
Step 17: Couples therapy is something to try.
You could attend couples therapy if you were betrayed.A therapist who is specially trained to act as a mediation is used in couples therapy.The therapist will help you cope with the betrayal and prepare you to forgive your partner.You and your partner can work out their feelings about betrayal during the therapy session in order to decide how to rebuild.