How To You should get along with your mother in law.
It is possible to navigate difficult relationships with your spouse's mother.It is possible to get along with your mother-in-law if you want to have a positive relationship from the start.Treat your mother-in-law well.If there is a conflict, involve your spouse.If you live with your mother-in-law, get comfortable with compromising and being firm.
Step 1: When you see her, put yourself in a positive frame of mind.
You should get into a positive mindset when you see your mother-in-law.Even if it feels forced, turn on your kindness.It may turn out better than expected if you approach the situation from a positive standpoint.If you are driving to her home, smile in the car on the ride over and think of nice things to talk about with her.You can show her respect, affection, and warmth by smiling and greeting her.
Step 2: To get to know her, ask questions.
Like you, your mother-in-law cares about the person you've married and you are a part of each other's lives through your spouse.Take some time to ask her questions.Show your interest in who she is and what she does.Discuss things she finds interesting with her.You will start to feel more connected as you begin to ask questions.She bakes a cake that you love.Ask her how she was able to balance work and child-raising.She can talk about herself under the sun.Asking her about your spouse's childhood is a good way to bond.She may have stories to tell.If you need help, you should ask your spouse to prepare you for the conversations you want to have with their mother.
Step 3: Ask politely.
Treat your mother-in-law with respect because she is part of your family.If your mother-in-law is difficult, make an effort to respond in kind.Being polite isn't the same as putting up with difficult interactions, it's about not responding negatively or in a cruel way.Don't criticize her in front of your spouse.It is unfair to put your spouse between you and your mother-in-law.Even if you disagree with your mother-in-law, make sure to interact in a positive way.If you need help, speak to your spouse on your behalf.
Step 4: You should be a united front with your spouse.
Show your mother-in-law that you and your spouse are family.Speak to your mother-in-law with you.It can make you feel supported if you have your spouse back you up.If your spouse is neutral between you and their mother, it can be beneficial to have them there to hear your interactions.Don't put your spouse's thoughts in the middle of you and your mother-in-law.If you have a conflict with your mother-in-law, invite your spouse to talk to her.
Step 5: She should be given her grandparents privileges.
Let it be if your kids get spoiled when they go to her house.A positive relationship can be built with your kids if grandparents give them treats and surprises.It's important for your kids to have a relationship with their grandmother and it won't affect their health in the long run, even if you're not crazy about the sugar rush.If you pick your kids up from grandma's house and they're wired from sugar or not sleeping, remember that this doesn't happen every day.Let your mother-in-law take care of your kids.If her privileges get out of hand, gently talk to her and let her know she can dial it back and the kids will still be happy.If you want moral support, you can approach her with your spouse.Your children should know that their grandmother's house is special.It doesn't have to happen at home.
Step 6: Difficulties may not be personal.
Conflicts with your spouse's mother-in-law are not uncommon.If your spouse is close to their mother, it can be difficult to navigate family relations.It is not a competition.He chose you as his spouse even though he didn't choose his mother.Your mother-in-law may never think anyone is good enough for her child and this may have nothing to do with you.Talk to your spouse about the situation with your mother-in-law.You might be relieved to hear that you have cultural differences with your mother-in-law.
Step 7: You should come up with solutions with your spouse.
If your spouse doesn't know how you're feeling, they may put you in situations you would rather not be in.It's a good time to sit down and talk about the issues in a calm way.Let them know what you want them to do about it.It is possible that your spouse is better suited to talk to your mother.Don't be surprised if your spouse does not take sides.Taking sides can put them in a difficult situation.Ask your spouse to talk to their mother about what's bothering them.When it comes from their child, she might take the discussion better.
Step 8: Don't judge her by her different viewpoints.
Listen to your mother-in-law if you disagree with her.Don't write off what she has to say.Let her know you're listening, even if you feel it's ridiculous.You don't have to agree to anything.If she puts you in a difficult position, defer to your spouse.I don't want to answer right away.Let me talk to my spouse first.
Step 9: You can use humor.
It is possible to deflate conflicts and put everyone at ease bylecting criticism.A little humor can go a long way in a tense situation.If your mother-in-law is complaining about the weather, reply with "Well, at least it means we don't have to sit indoors and complain about how cold it is!"
Step 10: Understand your feelings about your mother-in-law.
Is it possible to put yourself in her shoes occasionally and see where some of her judgmental behavior comes from?There must be something good inside her because she values the person you're married to.One of the most important people in your spouse's life is your mother-in-law.It's not your jealousy that is causing the problems.If your mother-in-law's relationship is strained or difficult, consider if that is affecting your relationship with her.You can have a different relationship with each person.
Step 11: There should be some ground rules.
Establish some ground rules for living with your mother-in-law.Make sure everyone understands the rules and why they are in place if you know there are things that might cause conflict.Tell your mother-in-law that the children are not allowed to eat sugar past a certain time and that she should not give them any before bed.Set the ground rules with your spouse and give them to your mother-in-law.If it is your mother-in-law's house, you should respect her rules.Make sure your spouse understands how you like to run your home if the home is yours.
Step 12: Make some compromises.
You and your mother-in-law will disagree on a lot of things.Pick your battles and decide what you want to fight about.If you have children, your mother-in-law may have ideas about how to raise them.When you can, accommodate your mother-in-law.Say so if you are firm in something.Tell her, "I hear what you're saying, but for now, I'd like to enforce this at home."
Step 13: You can create mutually-agreed boundaries.
It is possible that you and your mother-in-law enjoy having your own space and ways of doing things.Ask your mother-in-law how you can make her feel comfortable in the home.If your boundaries don't conflict, try to respect her space and independence.Establish ahead of time what she can contribute to the household budget.
Step 14: Praise the good she does.
The good things about her are not limited to the bad.Thank her for her care and contribution if she is always cleaning despite being told not to.She adds to your life in many positive ways.It is possible to do this in her presence.Say thank you if she buys you and your family things.
Step 15: Talk about how she makes you feel.
If you have a conflict with your mother-in-law, it is time to talk about it.Let her know how you feel if she criticizes your marriage or parenting.Tell her what you want, be kind and honest.You should aim to find resolutions to your problems.Don't blame her or accuse her.Share how you feel using the statements.When you say in front of my spouse and kids that I am not a good parent, I feel undermined.If we disagree, please respect my parenting.They can talk to her on your behalf.