There is a deal with resentment in a marriage.

Feelings of resentment can occur in a marriage when two people don't communicate about small problems and work towards a solution.This resentment can cause major problems in the relationship and make people wonder if they still love their spouse.If there are feelings of resentment in your marriage, you can deal with them by confronting the issues in the relationship, talking to your spouse in a constructive way, finding solutions to the problems, letting go of the resentment, and finding ways to move forward. Step 1: There are front problems in the relationship. When a couple doesn't talk about problems, resentment forms.The problem grows until one or both partners are angry and full of toxic thoughts.Instead of ending the marriage, you and your partner should discuss the problems that form so you can get them out in the open and work through them.Tell your spouse if you feel angry or hurt.It's better to bring up the problem instead of resenting it.You could say, "I feel angry about something."I want to discuss it with you so we don't have a big problem in our marriage. Step 2: You can trust yourself and your feelings. Some people do not bring up their feelings because they don't think they are valid.They may think they are overreacting.This is not true.Negative feelings like hurt, disappointment, and anger are valid.You can voice these things to your partner if you allow yourself to feel them.You are a part of the marriage.Your feelings are just as important as your spouse's. Step 3: Determine if you have feelings for someone. Some people think that they are falling out of love with their spouse when they actually are.It can make you angry at the other person, not want to be around them, or think there are no feelings of love anymore.Take an honest assessment of your feelings to determine if you are feeling resentment.Do you feel unappreciated, disappointed, angry, or hurt by the things your partner has done?Is there a problem in your relationship that you haven't talked about?You may feel resentful if the answer is yes. Step 4: Dealing with resentment may mean conflict. Many people don't bring up problems or feelings of resentment because they do not like conflict in their marriage.They don't want to fight with their significant other, so they stay quiet to keep the peace.The action leads to resentment.In the long run, facing the problems causing the resentment in the marriage is better than having minor conflict for a few hours or days.If you have been avoiding saying anything because you don't want conflict, think about your relationship as it is not with resentment.It doesn't lead to a good marriage.It's worth getting through some angry feelings and uncomfortable conflict to save the marriage. Step 5: Listen to your partner. Listening to your partner is part of dealing with resentment.You cannot deal with resentment if you don't listen to each other's feelings and problems.It may be hard to hear, but objectively listen to what your partner has to say.Even if you feel resentful, listening to your partner helps you work through the problems and reach a solution.It can lead to the end of the marriage if you refuse to listen. Step 6: Seek help from a professional. You may need to see a marriage counselor if you can't talk to your spouse or partner.A professional can help you and your spouse figure out how to say what you can't say, and work towards a solution.Even if your partner won't see a marriage counselor, you may consider seeing one to help you figure out how to deal with the issues in your marriage. Step 7: Only "I" statements can be used. You may place blame on your partner when you discuss your resentment.This leads to more problems, anger, and resentment.Use only "I" statements when talking to your spouse.You don't have to accuse your spouse of things.You could say, "I feel overwhelmed and frustrated because the house is always a mess."I need help because I can't do everything myself. Step 8: Please forgive. When you don't forgive someone, resentment happens.You have to forgive your spouse for what they have done.This will help you move forward and repair the damage caused by resentment.Forgiving someone means that you acknowledge a wrong was done, but you don't let it affect your relationship.The person apologized or didn't mean to hurt you.People can't forgive because they want to feel right.This can affect your ability to heal.Before you get angry at your partner for not helping, make sure you asked for help in the first place. Step 9: Let your anger go. A series of hurts becomes resentment when you replay them over and over in your mind.This allows it to grow and become toxic.You have to let go of the destructive feelings to deal with the resentment.The negative feelings are in the past and you have to let them go.They don't have control over you, your emotions, or your actions.The present isn't the same as the past.People make mistakes.You can control your reactions if you want to.It is healthy for you to let go of resentment.It makes it possible to build and have loving relationships. Step 10: Cognitive behavioral techniques can be used. Changing the way you think can help you deal with resentment.Cognitive behavioral therapy is a method of changing negative thought patterns.You should acknowledge your resentment when you notice it.Instead of dwelling on those thoughts, tell yourself that you won't worry about this.Imagine yourself letting the feelings go, as if they were a balloon or smoke. Step 11: Try to find a solution to the problem. If you want to change the behavior of your spouse, you should come up with ways to solve the problem.If you need help from your spouse, ask for it.Asking for help from someone is a common source of resentment.I need your help with household chores.I can't do everything myself.I want you to spend more time with me and the family on the weekends instead of going fishing with your friends, I think we should split up the work more fairly. Step 12: There is time for physical connection. Don't shut each other out while you deal with the resentment in the marriage.You don't touch each other, hug, kiss, or have sex if you're hurt.This is not the answer.Focus on overcoming the resentment by connecting again.You might have to consciously hug and kiss before you would do it naturally.They should have sex every day or two.This can help the two of you come to a better connection and start rebuilding the relationship, even if you are still working through the issues, this way you don't create an additional problem. Step 13: In the future, you should agree to share your feelings. Small things that lead to resentment can be dealt with easily.When you deal with resentment, make a vow to each other to share their problems, hurts, and concerns.You and your spouse can deal with a small problem before it gets out of hand. Step 14: It's important to prioritize your marriage. Not spending enough time together can cause resentment.When you have kids and demanding jobs, life can get busy.To minimize resentment and keep it from happening in the future, you and your spouse need to focus on making your marriage a priority.If you want to have a date, take one night a week.You can choose to go out to dinner and movie, have someone watch the kids while you eat at home, or just watch television together.Talk to one another for a few minutes each day.Listen while your spouse talks.Make sure to put up all electronic devices when this happens. Step 15: Referring to your resentment is a good way to identify it. You should figure out what causes you to feel resentful.The person could be hungry, upset, lonely, tired, or stressed out.You can let these feelings go if you feel them.It's possible that you have Triggers about things your spouse does.It could be phrases that your spouse utters, actions they do, things they forget, or ways they treat you.If you and your spouse were to identify your own triggers, it would be helpful.You could work on them one by one.

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