Do you have a family member who makes you angry?You can choose how you respond to difficult situations in your family, even if they are not within it.You can't skip out on family functions because you have great relationships with all other family members, but this one.Family functions can be more enjoyable if the situations are handled with more ease.
Step 1: Think about what you want to do.
Take a few moments and think about how you want to act.Maybe you and this relative have arguments in the past.If there are ways to avoid arguments this time, ask yourself what started them.Being an unbeliever will land you in hell, even if you are proud of it.It's a good idea to avoid discussing religious beliefs with your Aunt.
Step 2: Wait before you say anything.
If you have strong negative feelings for someone, don't speak without thinking.Before you speak, take a deep breath.Don't excuse yourself if you're having a hard time holding back negative comments.Say, "Excuse me."I will either use the bathroom or look for help in the kitchen.
Step 3: Support the Enlist.
If you have a hard time getting along with a relative, let someone in your family know that you want to minimize your interactions with this person.You can signal for a rescue if you get cornered into a discussion or argument.If you need a rescue at a family function, you can agree on a sign.You can give a hand signal if you make eye contact.
Step 4: Enjoy yourself.
It is not necessary to dread going to family functions because of a family member.Spending time with the family and doing activities you enjoy is what you should focus on.If you dislike a family member, focus on other things.If you find yourself in a conversation with this relative, try to distract yourself by playing with the dog.Make name cards and sit far from the person if you fear sitting next to them.
Step 5: Don't let the relative be occupied.
One way to deal with a difficult relative is to give the person a job or task.If a meal is being made, ask the relative to chop onions or set the table, and let him or her do it the way they want.It will be out of the way for a bit for the relative to feel like he or she is making a contribution.There are ways to include this relative and keep this person busy.
Step 6: Don't use sarcasm.
If the situation is tense or uncomfortable, you can use humor to lighten it up.A casual comment shows you aren't taking the situation seriously.If your grandmother keeps telling you to wear a sweater, you should grab one for the cat, too, because I wouldn't want her to be cold.
Step 7: Have an exit plan.
Prepare for the event with an exit plan if you fear interactions with this relative.If you feel uncomfortable or angry with your situation, give yourself a possible excuse, like the house alarm system is malfunctioning, or your pet is sick.
Step 8: Constantly heated debates, dodge them.
Don't talk to your uncle about politics if he loves to bring it up.Politics should not be brought up in this family setting.It is up to you how you respond if your uncle brings it up.This applies to competing sports teams, universities, or cousin rivalries.Say, "We can agree to disagree and leave it at that" or "I would prefer to have a great family gathering without this argument again."
Step 9: Pick out your battles.
If your cousin says something offensive that you want to fire back on or correct, take a breath and decide if it is worth engaging with.If your grandpa says something offensive, ask yourself if it will change his perception or cause a debate.Sometimes you have to say "You're entitled to your opinion" and move on.Let live.
Step 10: Conflicts should be resolved.
If there is a conflict between you and your relative, see if you can resolve it.You might need to find time to sit down, be honest with each other, and clear the air.Be kind, compassionate, and non-defensive when approaching a relative.Less resentment will build up if you resolve conflicts sooner.You should be willing to forgive.You don't have to ignore the situation, but learn to forgive so that you can release the hurt from within yourself.
Step 11: Don't say it.
Money, free labor, a place to stay, and other things may be what your relative wants from you.Don't be afraid to say no.You have the right to say no.You have the right to consider things before you agree to anything.You don't have to justify your response.You don't owe anyone an explanation if you say, "I'm sorry, I am unable to do that."
Step 12: Aggressive manipulation can be avoided.
It's possible that your difficulties arise because of passive aggressive remarks from your relative comparing you to other family members.You may feel manipulated by your relative.If your relative is passive aggressive toward you, keep your distance as much as possible and don't interact more than you have to.If you feel like you are being manipulated, you can find an exit strategy from the conversation.Don't talk.
Step 13: Stay within your family rules.
Let your relatives know that family rules apply at all times if you struggle to enforce them.If you don't like how a relative treats your child, let this relative know that the behavior goes against family rules and that they are enforced outside of the home.Discuss this with your relative in a matter-of-fact manner.Allison isn't allowed to play that game at home or here, either.
Step 14: Handle difficult situations.
If a relative has done something unforgivable, make sure you feel safe.If that means not inviting this relative to family functions, avoiding him or her, or letting the family know that relationship is severed is up to you.The focus should be on feeling safe and not punishing the family member.Inform other family members of the situation.While you feel that the situation is unforgivable, your family may not feel the same way and continue a relationship with this family member.estrangement can be very damaging to you and your family members, even if you want your distance for your safety.
Step 15: Take care of your body.
If you know you will be spending the day with a relative you dislike, make sure you are prepared.Make sure you get a good night's sleep the night before, if this person brings out an aggressive or testy side of you.You should leave early if you are tired at the Christmas party.If your blood sugar is stable, you are less likely to become angry or aggressive.
Step 16: Remember that it is not about you.
It is important to remember that this is more a reflection of the person than it is of you.Stand firm and remember who you are.Do your best to remember that this is not about you.People are often mean because they have their own personal issues.People with low self esteem, anger issues, or stress can have this happen.Pray that your relative finds hope one day.Some people might act in a certain way and think it's okay.One example is a person who lets their competitive and cutthroat business style affect their personal life.Some people don't have the right tools to feel sympathy.This can be brought about by genetic differences or the way someone was raised.
Step 17: You can not change this person.
There is nothing you can do to change the person you don't get along with.When this relative comes, you may have a fantasy of a happy family celebrating every holiday together.It is up to you to accept that this is the family you have, and that fantasy is nothing more than a happy and nice thought that is not based in reality.
Step 18: Let your relative know that you accept them.
Instead of looking at this relative in a negative way, practice being compassionate.Try to understand this person's point of view by listening when they talk.Practice loving kindness for this person.Look at your relative and take a deep breath.Think about how you suffer and are in pain when I see you.I accept that it affects me for the time being because I see that your pain is there.
Step 19: There are some reasons to be grateful.
You can find something that you can look forward to or feel grateful for when you meet with your family, even if you dread family gatherings because you hate having to spend time with difficult relatives.Maybe you are excited to see your family, or maybe not.Before you go to the family function, find things to be thankful for.You can go into the situation already feeling grateful.
Step 20: There is a therapist.
Therapy can help you move past the hurt and pain the relative has caused.A therapist can help you work through feelings, find ways to cope, see things from a different perspective, and help with underlying feelings of depression, anxiety, or other diagnoses.If you want to engage your relative in therapy with you, you may consider family therapy.It can help you discuss difficult topics with your relative.